For those reading here for updates, I'm sorry, but i don't think I can do this anymore. When this first happened, relating what was going on gave me a since of purpose...gave me the chance to get it out of my heart.
Now, for the place I'm in, every time I talk about it, its like its a sliver of glass worming deeper into my heart.
I'm taking myself off my news emailers for news on this story. I'm done. I can't do this anymore. It helped in the beginning, and now its just making things worse.
Many of you said I was strong for relating the news as I went; I still maintain that this was a symptom of my weakness. If I was telling others, I didn't have to sit on it, let it affect me. It could just pour out and then I could look at it from a distance.
The more visceral this crime becomes, the more I have to re-acknowledge that it is real. The this happened to someone I loved. What was a source of solace has become a reaffirmation of pain.
No more. Not for now, at least.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
New info here in the 'tracking a killer' videos on the righthand side
http://www.wyff4.com/news/15425488/detail.html?taf=gs
The things that stand out for me are:
1.Meredith managed to disarm GMH of the baton AND the hunting knife. He then used a pellet gun that looked like a real gun to keep her under control
2.She was in the van the majority of the time, rather than kept tied up against a tree for three days, as I had worried.
3.At one point, he had her hike with him
From other articles I have learned that she made him go back for Ella when he tried to leave Ella in the car. Some speculate that the authorities would have known she was not on the mountain if she had left Ella in the car, but considering the cold, its also quite possible Ella could have frozen to death. Again we have GMH caring for dogs more than people.
I thought about her a lot this weekend when I was up in the mountains. I thought about how we talked about her coming with us and the children on our next trip to disney world.
I was a real goober and wrote the band who's music has really been helping me cope to let them know how much I appreciated the music. I got a really cool response from them, too. Music is the last true magic, they said. I feel that. I listen to music that Mere loved, or music that reminds me of her, and I get to feel close to her again.
http://www.wyff4.com/news/15425488/detail.html?taf=gs
The things that stand out for me are:
1.Meredith managed to disarm GMH of the baton AND the hunting knife. He then used a pellet gun that looked like a real gun to keep her under control
2.She was in the van the majority of the time, rather than kept tied up against a tree for three days, as I had worried.
3.At one point, he had her hike with him
From other articles I have learned that she made him go back for Ella when he tried to leave Ella in the car. Some speculate that the authorities would have known she was not on the mountain if she had left Ella in the car, but considering the cold, its also quite possible Ella could have frozen to death. Again we have GMH caring for dogs more than people.
I thought about her a lot this weekend when I was up in the mountains. I thought about how we talked about her coming with us and the children on our next trip to disney world.
I was a real goober and wrote the band who's music has really been helping me cope to let them know how much I appreciated the music. I got a really cool response from them, too. Music is the last true magic, they said. I feel that. I listen to music that Mere loved, or music that reminds me of her, and I get to feel close to her again.
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
I need to stop reading about this. Last night I learned that Mere spent the last night of her life tied to a tree. I can also satisfy your question, Crickie, as to why no one heard her screaming or kicking in the van at that wafflehouse. It is most likely she was tied up in the woods at that point, not in the van.
So now I'm stuck thinking all day about what she was thinking that night. Mere would have been waiting for him to screw up, make a mistake, get free...but she would have been so sleepy :(
Mere was always falling asleep; I forget she was so much younger than the rest of us...right out of college and doing so much with her life. We would all be chattering away and look over and Mere would be snoozing on the blue chair, or curled up in one of the bean bags like a sleepy kitten. She would also get tipsy on one glass of wine. You know, I didn't think about it until she was gone, but that was a long drive she was making to and from my house on the interstate every wednesday. And she drove home from work first to pick up Ella. She used to laugh because as soon as they reached the BP close to our house, Ella would perk up because she knew where they were going and she was going to get PUPPY PLAYTIME!
How many times did I drive to her apartment? Twice? Its funny how you don't realize how much someone was giving you until its taken away.
So now I'm stuck thinking all day about what she was thinking that night. Mere would have been waiting for him to screw up, make a mistake, get free...but she would have been so sleepy :(
Mere was always falling asleep; I forget she was so much younger than the rest of us...right out of college and doing so much with her life. We would all be chattering away and look over and Mere would be snoozing on the blue chair, or curled up in one of the bean bags like a sleepy kitten. She would also get tipsy on one glass of wine. You know, I didn't think about it until she was gone, but that was a long drive she was making to and from my house on the interstate every wednesday. And she drove home from work first to pick up Ella. She used to laugh because as soon as they reached the BP close to our house, Ella would perk up because she knew where they were going and she was going to get PUPPY PLAYTIME!
How many times did I drive to her apartment? Twice? Its funny how you don't realize how much someone was giving you until its taken away.
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