I did something stupid today. I was talking to Stever (Meredith's boyfriend) and we had agreed to exchange some photos. I went through my hair tutorials and some old snaps I had of her playing with the children and sent them off to him. I was actually pretty okay with it all. I have looked at these photos a million times and let them upset me, but today I was feeling happy about them. Then Steve sent me back one line, "God I miss her" which I didn't even see at first(Because of the way my gmail is configured) Then I read it and it was like instant tears EVERYWHERE. I went to sleep (The baby was napping) and proceeded to nap for 4.5 hours. In the middle of the day. I cried myself to sleep and then slept like the dead. When I woke up, poor Munch (well, sort of poor Munch) had been playing video games the WHOLE time and The Baby had crawled in bed with me and was tapping my forehead.

Then Joy called and cancelled Munch's playdate for Luke tomorrow. Then I realize it was Wednesday and the house wasn't clean, and, considering the mood I was in, didn't look to GET clean. I started crying again, out of frustration, and Munch came upstairs, and without even asking what was wrong, said, "I miss Meredith, too, Momma."

I don't deserve them sometimes, I really don't. I made them 'noodles and sauce' for dinner (Just maceroni with red sauce and parmesan) and then took them to the store, where they chattered happily to one another in the truck shaped shopping cart and pretended they were UPS guys.

Now they are in the bath playing...and I am listening to them and realizing I have done nothing of worth today, except maybe love them. I guess that makes a day worth living.